Darkness surrounds me

encasing me in the darkest
realms of my mind
No concept of time
I drift with my eyes
dull to what surrounds
All I can see is the shadows
of spent time
They flood me as if
to drown me in misery
Shivering..such a vast
coldness consumes me
I can barely breathe
without self-harm being a desire
how good may it feel to 
feel the edge slide 
across my skin
Would only take a second
to finish it…

but I toss the knife to the side
No matter how hard it gets
I want to be alive

light begins to find it’s 
place in my mind
Still lost in this muck
yet deep inside 
I still believe I can be found…