every second of breathing

is like a dull blade scraping through my skin
my mind is erratic with tendencies
of self doubt
leading to mental self inflicted pain
god damn it not this again
a circle around my troubles
has led me back to “go”
all I want is to live
without my tears tearing
without my brain triggering self hate
can’t even look at my face
to be toe to toe with the mirror
feel likes I’m facing the reaper
I wonder when it’ll come to me
or at least set me free
so I can finally breathe with ease