AM I monster?

I look in the mirror
Nothing is the same
My smile’s as fake
As an idol’s face
My eyes red with stings
Of clear water
I can’t look away but
my gaze stays

Is it useless?
Was she right?
Am I hopeless?
Blinded by the darkness
Feeling for the light
Going my own way
Living in the shadows
Behind the normal
A devil without a cause

When will it be a beautiful day?
Will the fire reach me today?
Is it okay for me to reach for the fire?
Will I transform into superman
Feeding on the rays of life
Why don’t I feel alright?

It’s driving me mad
My pen’s spilling illusions
Wrapping around life 
trying to spark a reality
In which I’ll be happy 

Alas I wake from a cold dream 
My eyes steady and ready
To embrace the light
Ever so slowly I open them